Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The Passage of Time

It has been nearly a month since my last post. So much has been happening to the people that we love it has been a month of love, prayer and sobering reminders. Hero Husband's long planned trip was hours away when my sweet friend Allison's husband died. He and Hero Husband had become friends and he was a big part of the planning of the hunting trip. Rick had been struggling with his health for years, yet his death seemed so quick and his abscense felt so profoundly. Less than 24 hours before he would take his last breath Hero Husband and I had chance to sit with him. I prayed and Hero Husband stabilized the earth around this home in upheaval with his presence. Then he fixed the toilet. Hero Husband and Dad left and hunted and hiked their hearts out before returning home. Hero Husband's abscence for me seemed to intensify the grief that I felt for my friend. It did also, however, alow me ample time to spend with my kids, Allie and with the Lord in prayer. The last year has at times for me been a spiritual desert. I have felt a distance from the Lord that I disliked, but took as a reminder to cling to him even more. As the wave of grief approached I cried out asking that the Lord meet me there...fill my mouth with his words not mine...calm my heart...equip me and allow me to be what he needed for this family. He may has well picked me up and carried me himself. I felt powerful in his presence and I listened to all he asked of me. It was a very moving experience for me and I am humbled that I was given the chance to serve in this way. Time heals these wounds gradually, but I pray that I don't soon forget the hand of God on these last few weeks.

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