Friday, June 13, 2008

Super Protection Powers

A Mother's Love is a fierce thing. I guess I always knew that, but until Super Son was born I never fully realized the truth and magnitude of such a statement. After he was comfy and in a routine at his preschool (a short mile and a half from my office) I remember breaking often during my day to go and visit him and nurse and as he grew older weaning myself of this time not because I didn't want to see him, but he wasn't nursing so often anymore and it made it harder for him if I "left him at school" multiple times during the course of one day. When we got to this phase and it didn't feel as "accessible" to me anymore. My brain would go down bizarre paths of contingency planning...If there were to be an attack on our city and all the roads were clogged with traffic I could still walk or run to his school and be there in 20 minutes. Something about my proximity translated to a mobile safety bubble for my precious baby. If some crazy person were to come to the school get where I am going. I know that it is a false sense of control, but it was something and it works for my brain.

Today when I went to pick up Super Son from summer camp at the local gym it was much later than usual (5:45 at his request) and because the camp ended at 4 and he was one of the few kids who stay for "after care" I wasn't sure where he would be (again, he is having so much fun that he gets mad at me for coming to pick him up any earlier than this ~ at least he is having fun). This is usually a special time for those last few kids because they get to have the rock wall to themselves, go swimming again or something special and fun...Which is why not knowing where he was when I got me into a very emotional state of fear. A young boy (not much smaller than Super Son) was pulled from the pool in a near drowning. They were trying to revive his heart and I felt like that worried new Mom crafting contingencies for how I could rescue my son in case of any emergency. A quick chat with a parent nearby confirmed that this boy was with his mom so I headed out quickly to find Super Son and take him home. The gym was a daze of people crying or trying not to as they wandered glassy eyed through the folks just arriving or leaving from another part of the gym where they hadn't yet seen or heard. I found my boy playing blissfully in the gym on a scooter board. In true Super Son fashion he was irritated because I came to get him. We prayed for the little boy who's name we don't know, but we hope goes home safe and sound soon.

Then we snuggled in my bed and talked until bedtime.

On my knees...

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