Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Vagina Monologues

Sister number 3 loves the Vagina Monologues. She has been pestering for the last year for us (Sisters 1, 2 and 4) to join her. When #2 emailed a few weeks ago that...you guessed it... The Vagina Monologues would be performed on the UT Campus in February.

Last night was the night.

Betty joined us (a truly American experience for our favorite exchange student) and we all met at Kerby Lane Cafe for dinner before hand. #2 and The Back Cracker were doing the Bean handoff there so we hung with the small fry for a while and I performed some magic to heal her broken bean and cheese taco before her Daddy arrived.

I think I might be closing in on the favorite Auntie title after that one. The kid literally had stars in her eyes for me. Who knew all I had to do was heal a taco.

The very kind Jamison let us leave our cars there and after we paid the bill we began walking to the theatre. After two blocks with a pregnant lady wearing high heels and my bum knees the consensus was that a bus was looking pretty good. I of course reminded everyone that Scholz's Beer Garden was much closer to the venue, but no, we had to go to Kerby Lane. My know it all status gave me the honor of checking with the bus driver we were passing to see if he was heading our direction.

Since when does knowing everything mean you have to accost strangers by the way?

No luck on the bus and I chimed in that the walk was nearly a mile from the restaurant meaning we still had another half to 3/4 miles to go but we still had 20 minutes and we should be just fine. Then out of nowhere #3 stripped off her shoes and began to run. I, being perpetually at the back of the pack, caught up to find out where the fire was. Apparently if you don't get to the show 15 minutes early they sell your tickets to someone else. Darn the fine print on the back of the ticket. It was with 5 minutes to re-sale time #3 didn't want us to lose our seats so off she went.

#2, Betty and I cut through a gymnasium and across a courtyard to get to the next street where when we emerged found ourselves...in front of the still running #3. Que laughter

She disappeared around the corner and I fell further and further behind Betty and the ever "hurry up" chanting #2. Finding myself too far behind for comfort I stripped off my shoes and jogged after them. I swear they think I make up this knee stuff, but by the time I caught up with them my joints were already murmuring promises of a painful revenge. There was no hope of keeping up with them in my fabulous black peep toes so I braved the wilds with naked feet. I don't recommend this to anyone. The sidewalks on the UT campus are largely made of washed cement. You know, they pour the cement and then wash away the top layer leaving the little stones exposed. Nice esthetic...bad for the feet.

After #3's jog and the successful saving of our seats I was instructed to get her a bottle of water. After the machine stole my dollar I told her to find a water fountain.

The show itself was awesome. Vaginas are awesome. Supporting efforts to eliminate violence against women...the awesomest.

My favorite quote was from the "Because he liked to look at it" monologue.

"Everything that I knew about my vagina was based on hearsay."

We laughed out loud...a lot.

Then we called it a night and walked back to the Kerby Lane Cafe...slowly

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