Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Bienvenidos Puerto Vallarta

Puerto Vallarta has over the last few years become one of my favorite vacation destinations.

Last week sealed the deal. Hero Husband and I took off for some couples time with some friends. All hail my in-laws. Nana & Papa Camp ROCKS!

So here we are at the airport waiting patiently at our gate.

The boys really should have figured it out a little sooner with my maniacal giggling.

But it's really true. They are special in all ways!


Bienvenidos Mexico!

Relax, have a margarita or seven.

Ack! I left the country and Costco is still haunting me. Curses your bulk goodness.

I love it when we arrive somewhere and we de-plane on the tarmac.

It makes me feel like we arrived on a private jet. Bring the car around Jeeves.

It is a tarmac right? Well, it certainly isn't the runway, cause I saw that in ToyStory and there weren't any planes landing on top of us. Plane Parking Lot maybe?

So we have this tasty Mexican dinner, where in the continuum of drunkenness I was the DD and one of us didn't remember the meal the next day, and I order the pistachio ice cream.

I love pistachio ice cream.

This is Chiquito Mexicano.

He likes moonlit walks on the beach and having raisins for eyes.

Our waitress said that her husband's name is also Chiquito Mexicano. Small world.

Traveling sans our precious tax deductions it was easy to be convinced that an adventure excursion would be a great way to spend the day.

We arrive at Vallarta Adventures and our tour guide is waiting for us.

Her name was Hester and she was a bit stand-offish. She also kept calling me gringa and giving me the stink-eye, but hey there's no accounting for taste.

So we load a bunch of tourists in a boat and head out for the day.

I think the Port Authority needs a new translator.

I spent ten minutes reading this with different pauses and inflections. I think it was meant to be a question.

I'd be happy to apply for the job, but the demands of the beach would take away from my blogging.

Geesh ~ The things that I sacrifice for you people.

That and my Spanish is muy mal. They would end up with a random signs that had more to do with photography, wine and purses and a cruise ship would sink or something.

So the boat drops us off here.

Then Hester put us into a big safari truck with no shocks and sent us up the mountain. I swear on every switch back I thought the sucker was going to tip over and toss us out into the jungle to fend for ourselves.

I think Hester would have liked that.

Oh and we saw a chupacabra. I think he and Hester knew each other cause when I asked her if I could take a picture I got the stink-eye again.

After the fun ride up the mountain

we were introduced to our next mode of transportation.

312 mule potty breaks later we made it to the first zip line platform. I heard some complaints that one horse in particular wasn't moving fast enough.

The solution, stop calling your mule a horse.

He probably got offended.

Mules are sensitive like that.

So off to the zip lines. There was much safety instruction and then we were off.

There was absolutely no shaking of legs,
screaming like a girl
or forgetting of all the safety rules.

At least by Hero Husband.

Hey I am a girl so I guess it is okay to scream like one.

After the first line I proceeded to show everyone my mad skills.

Which is easy to do when Hero Husband is quietly giving you a tutorial.

The trick is to make it look like you know what you are doing.

Note to self, this is hard to do when screaming.

I'm a little bit jealous that he gets paid to do this kind of thing at work.

But I'm pretty sure they don't intentionally dunk him in a beautiful mountain waterfall after a rappel.

And that was pretty fun to watch.

We ended the trip with zip line races.

Let's just say that Hero Husband hit the platform second.


Boy am I glad that this isn't what my commute looks like each day.

Hester was waiting for us when we got back. I think she was a little disappointed that we were unharmed.

I tried to tell her a joke and she just walked away.

Girl I have tougher skin than you think...well not tougher than yours, but

I like to think by the end of the day we had formed a bond.

Sisterhood of the jungle kind of thing.


Maybe Not.

So the boys smoked their cuban cigars in an effort to keep me from declaring them at customs. Which I would never do. Oh wait, I did do that. Sorry.

We walked on the beach

We saw some pretty sunsets

We came home and laughed as the kids who were waiting at the door scampered up to their beds and pretended to be asleep.

Adios Puerto Vallarta.

See ya again next year.

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