How to make the Key Lime Pie that'll make you die

My goal isn't really to make anyone die, but seriously, 

my Key Lime Pie is so good you will think you are in pie heaven.  

You can debate me on crusts

You can debate me on toppings.

You will be wrong.

I am okay with that.  I hope you can be too.

This is after all the world according to Shannon.

It took me 15 years to decide the kitchen was a room in the house worth spending any time in.  Since I figured that out I have become quite good at making things like cinnamon rolls and pecan pie. 

Both of which pale in comparison to the awesomeness that is my Key Lime Pie.

The key to making an amazing Key Lime Pie is to first love Key Lime Pie. 

I love Key Lime Pie.  Desperately.  Passionately.  Devotedly. 

There was a birthday I had once when Hero Husband was away and when my parents and siblings decided to come over and celebrate.  They asked what kind of cake I wanted for my birthday party.  

You know where this is going right?

No cake for me.

I wanted Key Lime Pie.

At the time I hadn't yet discovered the kitchen and so I sent them to the Hula Hut, which at the time was the source of the best Key Lime Pie I had tasted.

They bought a lot of Key Lime Pie.  

I ate it all.

I might have been hormonal.

Now I know where the kitchen is and I have found a way to make some magic of my own.

And so the benevolent blogess that I am I am sharing with you.

How to make the Key Lime Pie that'll make you die

Here's what you need.

Slice your Key limes

not just any limes mind you, but Key limes.

No cheating.

I wear latex gloves cause the juice makes my fingers prune

aren't sliced Key limes pretty?

at this point in the Miss Thing always comes and steals one to suck on

I am not that brave 

Then you squeeze the limes

I use a lemon hand squeezer

strain out the seeds and big pulp

I don't know what cheese cloth is so I use my cheese grater

same thing right?

when the juicy part is all done I take off the gloves making them snap and throw them in the trash

I also pretend I am on ER when I do it, cause that is as close to medical school as I will ever get.

And now we are on to the crust

Crumble up all those yummy graham crackers

You may only snack on a few

I leave the crumbs about the size of my thumb nail but you can crumble them smaller if you like

no judgement here

add the sugar

the butter

the almonds

and the coconut

toss it all together and lay it out in your pie plate

press it into the bottom and up the sides

and put it in the oven to brown.

You can also make an extra crust with no filling.  

Break it up into pieces and it makes a great crunchy snack.

Pretending it's a granola bar helps with the shame. 

Whisk your condensed milk with your egg yolks

add in your Key lime juice and some zest

and whisk away

let the graham cracker toasty smell carry you to the oven

it should be nice and brown by now

pour in your key lime filling

bask in the beauty

that is 

Key Lime Pie

bake it

let it cool off and then stick it in the fridge

It'll take some time so we can chat about cream

whipping cream

why buy it in the can when you can make it yourself

it tastes amazing

and you cancel out the calories with all the whisking...

right?

all things are better with cream

especially Key Lime pie

I whisk it up for a bit

add the sugar

and then whisk until your arm falls off

or 4 minutes, whichever comes first

stop when it looks like this

cream eventually turns to butter

butter is awesome, but not on top of a Key Lime pie

garnish your pie with whipped cream

lick the spoon

lick the spoon

lick the spoon

sorry...

cut a thin slice of your lime

and then slice from the center to the outside edge

like so

plop your pretty lime on top of your whipped cream

lick the spoon again

and remember to share your pie.

Unless you don't want to in which case, I don't blame you

it's just that good.