Friday, April 29, 2011

Scissors

Scissors Scissors how I love thee
crafty person you release in me.

Until Miss Thing finds you in the closet waiting
Naughty deeds you didn't know you were participating.

A little snip here, a little snip there
Oh my goodness what've you done to your hair?

"I wanted it shorter" you tell me so sure
Well, worse could have happened.  Maybe we'll call it couture.

Sweet Baby Girl, next time tell me what you're thinking
I'll take you in myself, there won't be so much squealing

I'm all about style, but we can do it without the drama.
Hugs and Kisses, Signed your loving Mamma


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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Easter Egg Hunt



Sunday was Easter

We had an egg hunt

Super Son wanted to help hide the eggs for the little girls.

Cousin Josh hid the eggs for Super Son

I could be wrong, but I think the need for a safari hat and a walkie-talkie 
to find your eggs means someone got a little carried away.




Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Harvest Begins

The Wee Ones decided it was a good time to check and see how our carrots were doing.

Tasty.  They were very Tasty.


Babies

My family has recently been overrun with babies.

Some are bigger


Some are smaller


They sleep in random places and weird positions

and they are all boys.

It shouldn't be a surprise that this has made Super Son very happy.

Last night I caught him complimenting the burps of the youngest.

I am afraid...very afraid


Thursday, April 14, 2011

The case of the Nefarious Neighbors

A few months ago when the trees were still just thinking about turning green again I was walking between my Wee One's bedrooms tucking them in.

Mamma, Can I have another drink of water?

No, any more water and you'll be up all night going to the bathroom.

Mamma, Can I have another hug?

Geesh, how do you say no to that?  Sneaky Buggers

Mamma, What's the square root of Pi?

Now you're just getting uppity....Back to bed both of you

Throughout this exchange I noticed that I was casting a rather impressive shadow on the wall.

Everyone knows that shadows are skeerry and evil and must be vanquished or they will jump out and get you.  Said vanquishing is usually done by a Mamma, but under the right circumstances a Super Son armed with a Pokemon of some sort.  Considering Super Son was supposed to be in bed.  I started looking around to figure out where the light was coming from.

Downstairs you say?  No you silly reader

A random headlight from a neighbor turning a strange direction.  Closer, but still no.

After some detailed investigation i.e. I looked out the window and squinted at the surprisingly bright blue light shining at me, I realized it was coming from the neighbor behind us.

Lights from neighbors, alas, just a problem of living in a semi-urban environment right?

Shoot No!  This was BMW headlight blinding blue xenon shining in my back window from 100 yards away making me see spots when I closed my eyes.

So of course I whined and complained about it until Hero Husband's response was "For the love of Pete, just do something about it would you!"

Which is when I asked him to shoot out the light with his pellet gun.

Then he left the room and may or may not have rolled his eyes at me.

A few years back the houses that back up to mine were re-zoned and converted into small offices.  Insurance agents, lawyers, retirement fund managers.  Heretofore known as the Nefarious Neighbors.

These mild mannered professionals by day apparently decided that by night their offices were targets for the next homeland terrorist attack and chose to combat the threat level with blinding lights pointed directly in my back window.  For the record the only people that think I am a terrorist are my chickens and that's cause I shoo them and steal their eggs.

Never one to admit failure I reserved the right to shoot the light out myself but figured I would try to be neighborly, put aside my agoraphobic tendencies, and call the person who owns the house to find out why they personally decided to cause my children bad dreams and blind me simultaneously.

A timer, a motion sensor, a directional shade I suggested.

Sure they said, If I want to pay for it.  In their words they

"had the right to protect their businesses in whichever way they saw fit regardless of how it impacted those who lived next door.  You live next to businesses it's what you should expect."

Really?  Last time I checked I lived here first.

I told Hero Husband to get the pellet gun.  He told me to look up the local zoning ordinance to see what restrictions the Nefarious Neighbors were violating.

"I don't want to be pragmatic" I tell him.

"You can't shoot out the light now" he replies "they'd know it was you."

Okay maybe pragmatic is a little sexy.

Turns out the zoning code is on my side and when presented with them the Nefarious Neighbors folded like a cheap card table.

They climbed a ladder and pointed their light at the ground rather than in my window.  The shadows had been vanquished, my retinas were healed, the Nefarious Neighbors defeated and all was right with the world.

For now I will resist the temptation to shoot it out anyway, 'cause I'm a good person and, well, I think Hero Husband hid the pellet gun.

Friday, April 08, 2011

My Wee Ones are Weird

After a long day of working in the garden, wrestling with the dog and cooking ribs with Hero Husband
what does Super Son say he absolutely MUST do before we call the day done and head in for bed?

Swim Mamma.  I really want to go swimming.

Super Son you do realize that we just topped off the pool i.e. the water is cold

the sky has been cloudy all day i.e. the water is cold

it is early in April i.e. the water is cold

It's not cold Mamma.  I'll show you.

He proceeds to strip in the yard and wade in.

Mind you his first choice was to cannonball into the deep end.  Hero Husband vetoed the idea fearing the cold would shock his system into inhaling as he splashed breathing in the water and drowning.

Good thinking Hero Husband, in the future let's just go with a No.  
I would have been happy not knowing that could happen.




See Mamma.  It's chilly, but not cold.  Here I go!




Pappa, can I cannonball now?




Thanks!




At which point Miss Thing is troubled that she could be missing out on something so fun,
strips down to her chones,




dips her toe in to decide if in fact her brother has lost his mind.




Confirms he is crazy 




and hightails it to her towel




Eli required no verification that they are weird




and that maintaining a healthy distance in dealing with crazy people was a good idea.

Very Smart Eli



Thursday, April 07, 2011

Why boys need men





Because without the loving,


protecting, 




instructing, 




fearless,

boys must be boys believing

fathers, uncles and in this case Grandfathers 
their mothers would never let them swing a hatchet at a piece of lumber. 

At least not without a helmet, eye protection, hockey gloves and various body part covering pads.






Count your blessings Super Son



Wednesday, April 06, 2011

"Rodeo Adventures" alternately titled "I am the awesomest Mamma ever"

Living in Texas you might assume that we all wear hats and ride horses, and while this might be true some of the time in my house, it isn't necessarily true everywhere.   Our little Blue enclave in our really big Red state isn't really much of a rodeo town.  

Never let it be said that would stop us from going!

Miss Thing decided she might do Mutton Bustin'
...next year. 

There was, however, no deferral when it came to the sugar laden, 
stomach flipping crazy fest that is the carnival.

You will notice there on Miss Things wrist a band.  All hail the mighty wristband.
This tiny little strap of nylon and plastic freed me to say yes to everything.

Wristbands aren't cheap folks, but I believe it to be the best waste of money I have spent in the last few months.

The carnies got to say no if there was a height restriction and I was the Mom who for 5 long hot sweaty hours who said "Yes you may" to the perpetual question "Can I ride that one?" 

My weird children started out on the caterpillar mini-roller coaster.



then Miss Thing haaaaddddd to drive the pink Barbie car




This is my new favorite picture of Super Son flying his own hot air balloon




Sensory Overload




The fun house



I rode just about every ride with them.

My stomach was displeased my with antics.

The pirate ship was the last straw.

This one required some convincing both to my progeny and to my stomach.

"Come on kids, this was my favorite when I was little.  You're gonna love it!"

Miss Thing had doubts




"You see, we just sit in our seats and the boat swings up




then it swings down.  It's just a bigger version of the swing set at home."




Then I realized I was sitting directly across from this kid.




Based on the noises and the way his cousin was laughing at him he was not a voluntary participant.




but the faces this kid was making cracked me up.




By the end he was having some fun




and most importantly he didn't yak.

I was sitting directly across from him after all.




and wouldn't you know it was one of Miss Thing's two favorite rides.

We only had time for one more thing before the actual Rodeo started and Miss Thing was determined to ride a bull. 

She's hardcore like that.





Super Son was sufficiently impressed with her prowess.  

"Mamma, she stayed on for 15 whole seconds!"

And then we were off to the Rodeo.


My country tis of thee
Sweet land of Liberty...

I will stop singing now


Yikes!

I know a good chiropractor




These weirdos were all dressed up like one of the Rodeo Clowns.




I could totally do that




in my dreams.




Although I once rode a horse that did that and I managed to hang on.




There was no form or grace to it, a lot of screeching
and a surprising amount of bad language.




Miss Thing says she wants to do this rather than Mutton Bustin'




But in truth she ended up doing this




Through the entire Rodeo.

Super Son thought she was crazy. She missed all the fun.

She got carried out to the car and remains convinced that she got the sweeter deal.

G'night Rodeo Fans...until next year.