Friday, September 09, 2011

Humiliation: Full Moon

Last week I caught a stomach bug.

It was 12 hours of utter misery followed by 3 days of general malaise and blah peppered with small bursts of feeling halfway normal except for the unattractive shade of green that would grace my skin every time I thought about food.

This happened to coincide with the burning of greater Austin which isn't really relevant except Hero Husband was off living up to his moniker and I was left to whine and moan with no one to pity me and Wee Ones that still needed to get to school.

I also had a work meeting with some official-types about a re-zoning hearing that was happening and couldn't be delayed.  My meeting thankfully ended up being timed perfectly with one of my bursts of semi-normal energy.

The meeting went well and I was pleased to pat myself on the back for getting the issue cleared up.

Look at me.  Hear me roar.  Mama survives stomach plague, bounces back enough to send the kids off to school and meet with zoning folks and solves the problem.  All in a days work.

That is until I entered the lobby and proceeded to tumble down a short flight of stairs.

Wearing a dress.

That managed to end up somewhere north of my ears.

With a security guard, a janitor and 2 parolees as witness.

Oh and don't let me leave out the security cameras that were on hand to save the whole thing for posterity

or to monitor the parolees.

Po-tay-toe  ~  Po-tah-toe

The stairs were covered in sandpaper tread that claimed their victory over me with the skin from both of my legs as trophy to a job well done.

Upon reflection it seems that I must have been a bit faint, which I guess happens when you can't stomach food of any sort for several days in a row.  My wound pattern (hello CSI) indicates that I did not try to catch myself and considering that I don't actually remember falling it seems like a safe bet.

My loving friends and family did their best not to laugh

much

and I'm sure were only concerned for my health when they asked if I had asked for copies of the security tapes.

A full moon in the sky is a beautiful thing to behold.  Mine upside down on the floor of a municipal building lobby is just fodder for the humiliation chronicles.

You may all laugh now.

The End

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