I have this friend.
We'll call her Maura.
She was Miss Thing's preschool teacher a few years ago.
Okay I give up, her name is Laura and she is going
through the training camp for the Lonestar Rollergirls league.
For the record, every kid is well served to have a
Roller Derby girl for a preschool teacher.
Oh and she has great taste in books.
So guess where Hero Husband and I went for our date night last weekend?
Roller Derby is really an interesting sport.
Kind of a mix between olympic speed skating, WWE and hot pants.
Rule #1 about Roller Derby
Don't talk about Roller Derby.
Roller Derby is a growing sport and they would really
appreciate you talking about them as much as you like.
My friend Laura was kind enough to grab us some prime seats
and fill in the comprehension gaps.
For example I saw her arm and said something along the lines of
"Criminy, what the heck happened to you?"
Apparently this is what is referred to as "Respect"
I call it crazy, but you know tomato - tomahto
Roller Derby like many sporting events has its parent support contingent.
They even come with matching shirts.
These folks were here to support the Cherry Bombs.
and so was this guy
I'm not sure how exactly the mascot for the Cherry Bombs
is a green mohawked beaver, but hey this is my first time.
I'm sure it'll make sense at some point.
Hopefully this guy will too.
Some things seemed a bit more familiar
last minute repairs
and then something like this happens and I'm confused again.
I was profoundly grateful when they were kind enough to put on one of these.
I could explain the rules, but I'm sure I'll mess it up.
Feel free to go here if you are really interested in the details.
In short there is one girl from each team that scores points
she's called the Jammer
and then there's a pack of girls trying to either help her score or keep
her from scoring, depending on which team they are skating for.
That process is what generally results in much of this
Apparently Hero Husband likes a good girl fight.
But I'm ahead of myself.
It's time for the first jam (the roller derby version of a down or an at bat).
The Cherry Bombs were playing the Putas del Fuego.
We decided to cheer for the Cherry Bombs for three very valid reasons
1 - I like green
2 - The word puta bugs me
3 - Rocky Casbah is my new girl crush
When a player is charged with a major penalty they visit the penalty box.
Minor penalties are much more entertaining.
For a minor offense the mistress of penalties spins a wheel and the
offended and the offender will have to compete in a challenge...
some possible challenges are a dance off, arm wrestling,
a pillow fight or a no holds barred two laps.
When they say no holds barred, let me tell you, they mean it.
and with names like Holly Homicide and Truck Stop Trixie
you better watch yourself. These girls mean business.
Minor penalties are fun!
And in the event Roller Derby isn't your thing, or sports in general
it's still worth going.
Seriously, their halftime act is a live band.
If that wasn't enough it's worth going just for the people watching.
I have never seen such a diverse,
friendly yet bloodthirsty collection of people
In one place in all my days.
It's a people watching smorgasbord.
All the way down to the mustard yellow jacket wearing announcers
who will bend over for a spanking one minute and
happily lip synch to Journey for your watching pleasure the next.
The Cherry Bombs prevailed in this round and advance to the finals.
And the verdict - Roller Derby is Awesome.
We already have out tickets for the finals next week.
Oh and the guy with the blue cape never really did make sense,
although at one point he was swiffering the track which only confused me further.