There are lots of things that I have never done.
I have never gone skydiving,
bungee jumping or
played laser tag.
But this year I have done lots of things for the first time.
Thinking back on it I'm a little impressed with myself,
although some I would just assume never do again.
I pulled out someone else's tooth,
set my face on fire with a marshmallow,
went to a Hall of Fame induction ceremony
watched roller derby,
went on a date with another woman,
fell down a flight of stairs,
rode on amusement park rides until I was nauseous
went on a cross country RV trip with my family which by itself includes
cooking dinner at 80 miles per hour, seeing a lava field, horseback riding in the
Colorado Mountains, visiting the Grand Canyon, riding in a pink taxi cab
I also swam in the dark and howled at the moon,
became a pin-up girl,
shopped in the best antique store in the whole wide world,
drove through the night with my best girls for a good cause,
played Gay Bingo and envied a drag queen's boobs (Hi Jocelyn!),
survived the end of the world (although in all honesty I'm not sure that this is a first),
played Chicken sh&^t Bingo,
saw a SXSW performance,
took a painting class,
rescued my husband from himself (although this too is probably not a first),
saw Jewel in a private fancy schmancy VIP concert,
and chased a rattlesnake into the bushes (admittedly not my smartest first).
Considering that the year is nearly done this may be my last first thing for the year.
Are you confused yet?
Yeah Me too.
A few weeks ago, for the first time, I went to watch a body-building competition.
And was completely blown away by the focus and
the dedication that these people put into everything they do.
and their willingness to wear such tiny britches (these aren't really bathing suits are they?)
I feel very naive to not have known what a huge industry
this is and how good you have to be do do well in it.
So I had the kids with me on this little adventure because we were there
to cheer very loudly (and somewhat obnoxiously I'm sure) for a very specific competitor.
Miss Thing couldn't help herself from going looking for him.
"Uncle Michael? Where are you?"
All being spray tanned the same color put her at a disadvantage.
I don't think she could tell the people apart.
Hurry back Miss Thing! There he is!
Yay Uncle Michael! Woo Hoo! AHHHHH!
This is where I would have wolf whistled if I knew how.
Hero Husband's brother was competing in the Physique division
of the Central Texas Showdown.
He has been working tremendously hard for this
and true to form he won the whole darn thing.
We love you and are so crazy proud of you!
Excuse me I've got to go to the gym now.